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Profile: Rob H

Hi, I’m Rob
I'm a 51 year old self-diagnosed mild dyslexic. It didn't "exist" when I was at school, you were just rubbish at reading and spelling. I’ve never written a poem in my life until about a month ago, when I wrote one by accident!!! I was writing a facebook post in a "Ron Manager" style-ly for the Fast Show page about the England v Germany match. I also posted it on an England fans Forum and people were reading it as a poem and saying how good it was?????
I then sat down and out fell 25 poems in 4 days.... "The Kid Going Now Here" is about me being singled out by a teacher back in 1984 for my inability to get my eyes, brain and mouth to work together.

The Kid going Now Here

A fourteen year old sat in geography
Pass the books around, read a section each
Go round the room, for us all to hear
I'm sitting here, not listening, I'm trying to work it out
So I can be practising the one I'll stumble through.
Help me best mate, what's this jumble here
Don’t worry I'll whisper words to help you out
To reduce your embarrassment, and turning red.
My dreaded turn comes, I splutter out garbled sounds
My next door neighbour's mice voices save a few
And my section’s done, or so I think.
Well carry on boy, the big man orders,
And you move here,my friendly helper disappears.
He made me read four whole pages
Tutting at my bumbling mistakes , it seemed forever
Berating easy words I got wrong, I voiced, "now-here"
He laughed out loud, "now-here? It's pronounced no-where"
Which is where you'll get in life, reading like you’re five.
Bastard, I hated him for that, but I had the last laugh
I got a B in Geography, and although it took some time
I even passed my English third time round.